Writer Blues

blue I know that rejection is a part of being a new writer.  Rejection is also a huge part of exploring

ways to make money writing.  I apply to so many things, it’s easy to… I wouldn’t say forget… but not to anticipate a response while still remaining hopeful.  You have to think about the benefits of winning or being funded for the motivation to even apply or subject yourself to someone else’s judgment.

Lately, I’ve not been chosen for grants and lost a competition.  I’m sad.  I don’t write to win competitions or grants, but when I enter my writing into something I hope it will be successful based on the standards of those judges.  I hope each book will at least pay for the next one.

I don’t know. I’m a little discouraged and hurt.  I love writing, but I also love spending time with people I love, spiritual experiences, travelling, dining out and experiencing new things… Between writing, working and just doing all the routine survival things required I don’t have the energy to actually live.   I wish I made more or at least owned more of my time. I wish writing would free me from working a nine to five.

It will one day.  I just wish it was today.

 

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