Remembering I Chose Writing

underwaterToday I decided to tell myself the truth about my writing career. I love writing whether it pays my bills or not.  I love the rush of creating something.  I love when a poem comes together just right.  I love applying  a new lesson from one of my writing books.  I love finding out I’m already doing something a pro says every “good” writer should do. 🙂  I like escaping from my life and becoming completely immersed in another world I’ve created. Now I can breathe and stop beating myself up and enjoy this journey.

I wanted to have a book done by September 2014.  That was impossible.  There is still, so much work to do for the book I released in July of 2013.  You have to market your work and if you haven’t begun… you must build an audience.  More importantly, I needed to have a rough draft done before 2013 ended to have another book out this year.  Editing takes time.  Writing a book is such a long process.  Again, I love the process.

Even though I love writing, I somehow started to try and force myself to write faster, or to be more productive.  I’m not against productivity, but I’m not sure how I picked the date for the publishing of my next book.  I mean, I picked the date of my next book before the first one had been released so I could include the release date in the book.  While the truth is, it was kind of unreasonable to determine how fast I could complete something I’d never completed.  Truth is, I have no idea when the first draft of my next book will be completed.

I’m still doing research.  I am still writing.  Often I don’t know what I need to know or don’t know depending on the writing session until I hit a wall.  Some writers just write their story and then plug in historical information.  I can’t use that method because some things are impossible in the time period.  Yes, it’s fiction and I can make anything I want happen.  But I can’t call it historical fiction if I disregard the actual historical part.  It’d be a fantasy novel if people started using the phone or the internet in the early 1900’s.  It’d be a fantasy novel if my characters started displaying behaviors that were unknown during their time.  We are literally limited by our thinking.  I have to know what’s going on in their time to recreate their thought process.

There are so many layers I want to cover.  On top of all that, I always want my next book to be better than the last one.  I always want to be growing as a writer and for it to reflect in my work.  I’ve learned so much since I released my last book.  I want to apply all of that  knowledge.

Speaking of learning from writing… I’m really glad I actually made all the editing changes after it was edited.  My editor would write questions in the margins and explain why I NEEDED to change something.  We had discussions about things I didn’t understand.  Turns out, you need someone to get in there and see if what you wrote is what you actually meant.  Also, how you perceive what you write is completely different from how it might actually read. Of course you understand some weird dialog, no one else who’ll read it will because you are immersed in the world you’ve created…

I’m looking forward to a really good first, second and third edit.  I am looking forward to reader feedback.  I’m looking forward to sitting down with a table of readers before the book is finally published.  Last time I had several different readers from different places, who came from different backgrounds and therefore looked for different things.  The book was mailed all over the place.  Everyone was on their own reading timeline.  This next group is a book group of several women.   There will be a set date for when it has to be done.

Currently, I’m in a coffee house… trying to write something towards finally finishing the first draft of my novel.   I did a lot of research.  Oh, and I’ve surrendered to researching more.  The last time I did research it was for the first book when I thought it would all be one book.   Honestly, I didn’t focus on this time period enough.  So I am sitting with how my character feels in every scene… I’m asking myself “what is she doing in the scene,” and “what actions are available?” I’ve accomplished a little writing but not what I wanted. I think I’m going to call it quits, go home, watch a little Netflix until I fall out. Plus it’s freezing in here.

Random: I read on another blog I’m following, how this man blogs daily at least 500 words about whatever.  I don’t know if my goal is to write a blog daily but I do need to set daily writing goals.  As much as I love writing, it doesn’t beg me to feed it the way my stomach does.  Writing doesn’t send me messages or mail to notify me that a bill is due. Writing doesn’t (well, sometimes my characters talk at the most inopportune times…) tell me it feels neglected the way a lover would.  I have to choose it.  I even have to choose to love it.

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