Anxious

This is a map of some places that existed during the Harlem Renaissance.

This is a map of some places that existed during the Harlem Renaissance.

There are so many things to do.  Feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day.  Feels like I’m always going. I tell myself let’s get organized.  Then I end up working on something in the middle of organizing.

I’m not afraid any more. I’m not anchored. I feel like I can do anything, go anywhere and be whatever I set my heart on.  It’s definitely a different feeling to see the world as an abundance of opportunities.

It’s also a spiritual struggle now, not to allow anyone to taint this view, because honestly, the world is however you say it is for the most part.  We cannot change people but we can certainly adjust ourselves to who we learn people are.  We can also apply ourselves and get focused.

I am really focused.  I have to sort and decide what needs to be done immediately. I accomplished a lot today. I’ve done a lot of editing of another writer, some reading (I finished Teryn’s poetry book), I put my map of Harlem up.  I did some research. I went to the post office. I went to FedX to get the map laminated until they told me their machine might eat the map and they wouldn’t replace it.  I went all the way to Harlem to get this map.  So, I decided to pass on them possibly ruining it.  I got some more grocery shopping in. I unpacked some.  I cleaned up.  I organized my work space.  I went to the library.

I edited my own work. Now I’m trying to figure out how I can work without a Word program on either of my laptops.

I know that things are going to get better and be amazing because I’m having so many challenges.  I won’t get into them all, but I will say that every time I look up something I need breaks.  I write to music. I’ve gone through two MP3 players and an Ipod in two months.  Neither of my laptops will allow me to access Word.  Neither of my laptops will allow me to download another writing program.  I’ve been making a lot of connections and doing a lot of business through my phone… It cuts off when it feels like it, and is slow as all get out.

Still, life keeps getting better. I don’t know.  I hope I can stay in this place of light.  Where I can focus on all the head way I’m making and not all the issues.

Sidenote, something is going on with the cursor, which I’m aware of, but it’s still annoying… Right now as I’m typing, it just goes in the middle of some random line and starts putting the keystrokes.  So I lose my place.  And have to figure out what isn’t suppose to be there… Oh, cause the letters are delayed showing up. I don’t think I type faster than my laptops… Well, not this one.  And the power in my office is doing this weird thing where it flashes like it’s going out.  I’ll be glad when I have tons of money and I can have everything state of the art, with some help to do mundane tasks so I can focus on creating.

I am writing my dreams. I am acting on my dreams.  I am speaking my dreams into reality.  Documenting my evolution…

I am also becoming really radical in my thoughts and actions.  I kind of get a rush from saying what needs to be said or doing what needs to be done. It’s a crazy space to be in.

So much love. So much freedom. So many opportunities.

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