I’ve been most upset about the way women have responded to several women coming forward and saying they were raped. On one hand, women kept asking “why did they wait so long?” or “why didn’t they press charges?” As the beginning to their defense of Cosby. At the same time, not realizing they didn’t come forward sooner because they were afraid no one would believe them. And they were right.
Now that we’ve read his sworn deposition, where he says Constand didn’t say yes or no… Meanwhile, he knew the drug he gave her was paralyzing. She had also refused two previous sexual advances. He knew she didn’t change her mind and that’s why he drugged her.
Now I’m waiting to see how many women who supported Cosby will apologize to that royal dragging they gave the victims. Not only didn’t people believe, they attacked the victims’ appearances, lifestyles and motives. I was so hurt by all the crazy Twitter rants… I mean, even if you didn’t believe them why would you tear another woman down who says she was raped?
More importantly, it isn’t actually true that none of the women came forward. Some did, and no one believed them then. Even Constand, who moved to press criminal charges was told by the DA that she didn’t have enough evidence… And he handled Cosby paying her off. I’d argue the D.A. is also part of the problem.
There is so much to say about this… Mostly about how we as a society received not one, but more than fifty women identifying as rape victims.
The way this Cosby thing was handled reminds me of a documentary I saw a couple years ago. It was about a rural tribal area, where genital mutilation was just outlawed… And they were trying to reach the women, because it was the women who were performing it on their daughters in a group as a ritual, introducing her to womanhood. It is the women who continued to enforce it though it was against the law. It is the women who shamed other women and shamed males in the tribes if they showed interest in a woman who hadn’t participated in the ritual.
If we as women set the expectation for how we are to be loved, it is all that would exist. As we now set the expectation against the ourselves… And it is all that exists.